Part of "Where We Live"

So there's this internal push to make a photo zine or at least a longer-term collection of images around a theme. I've been diggin' this idea of "Where We Live" for the last bit and I've got a growing pile of images from around the Oklahoma City urban core. It's certainly still a work in progress, but I figure putting the idea out there will surely help keep me moving forward with the project.

These images are from a recent walk around the Paseo neighborhood with my RB67 and a roll of Kodak Gold 200. No clue if they'll end up in the final project, but a few of these were more than just hot turds out of the roll of 10 images

Shooting Kodak Tri-X 400 at 3200 ISO

At the moment my default in shooting black and white (B&W) film is pushing what's typically a 400 ISO film two stops to 1600. Even when I'm shooting outside with plenty of light to justify the 400 box speed, I still push that emulsion-coated plastic those two stops. That extra sensitivity keeps me from shooting wide open on my Mamyia RB67 and instead lets me stay closer to the faster end of my shutter speeds – 250 & 400 – as well as having a deeper depth of field. There's also the ongoing fantasy that my family and I still live in Brooklyn and those grungy and grainy Lower East Side photos I'm pretending to make are just a short train ride away.

This past Friday afternoon I headed out to the OKC Fairgrounds to try and make something. There's seemingly always an event happening out there, and this past week started the 2024 Oklahoma Youth Expo (OYE). According to their website, the OYE is the "World's Largest Youth Livestock Show." Something like 7,000 4-H and FFA members and their 13,000 head of cattle, sheep, pigs, and goats. Pro-tip: The pig barn smells the worst.

The exhibition barns are ginormous, but the lighting always sucks. There are all kinds of weird light fixtures to try and match, so this made for an easy choice to use Kodak's Tri-X B&W film. It's also weirdly dark, so a great excuse to push that 400 box speed film much more than I would normally.

Try as I might, I couldn't find much of a consensus regarding the developing time for pushing Tri-X 400 three stops to 3200. It's also surprisingly difficult to keep my developing chemistry at the recommended 68° F considering the temperature of my house, so I've always developed my B&W film at 75° F via a Sous Vide machine.

Massive Dev Chart has been my go-to for quite a while, but seemed like it contradicted itself with its push processing. On one page they mention an 11-minute development time to push Tri-X to 3200 using D-76 at 68°, but then elsewhere they elude to a 27-minute development time. Then I found a somewhat official-looking PDF at what looks like a Kodak website laying out yet another approach to developing Tri-X film. They break down the development time according to temperature and push processing, but they were nowhere near the same development times I'd gotten used to over at Massive Dev Chart.

That's when I built out a spreadsheet – shocker – based on Massive Dev Chart's figures and their standard developer push processing compensation advice: +1 stop = x1.5; +2 stops = x2.25; +3 stops = x4.5. That ended up being 20.5 minutes in a stock D-76 solution while agitating the film development tank every 30 seconds to push my Tri-X 3 stops; essentially almost an entire episode of Rick and Morty per roll.

In the end, I decided none of us know what we're doing and we're simply making this nonsense up as we go. Next time I might use that official-looking PDF from Kodak. Still, I ended up with a handful of photos I dug from those two rolls of B&W film. Surely they'd most likely been better used by someone who knew what they were doing and saved me $20 plus the developing gear and chemistry used. If nothing else, I can use the "it's a vibe" phrase with the nonsense I made.

Things Other than Business School

Got to make and do some stuff that wasn't directly related to business school over the last few weeks, so that was great. I had some time off following the second module of the fall semester and I ripped through something like nine rolls of medium format film both here in Oklahoma City as well as a few days in New York. I got to sneak up to NYC for the Cinematography Salon Holiday Party and then back a couple days later with St. Anne the Wife and the two housefires for a holiday trip. Crazy, crazy thanks to Jeremy McDaniel for letting me crash at his place in Brooklyn for a couple days.

UPDATE
The good folks at Cinematography Salon released a recap video from the December Holiday party in Brooklyn. If you look closely, you'll see me in my nonsense along with with Jeremy – well, our backs at least – checking out the motion control and Phantom camera setup at about 0:02 into the video.

 

BOOKS I'M INTO AT THE MOMENT

I also plowed through a few books the last few weeks. Know I'm trying to dodge talking about school stuff, but in addition to a load of solid Harvard Business Review articles, I got to read Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek for my Advanced Leadership class. There's a few solid takeaways in the book, but the stickiest one to me was the idea of how abundance destroys value.

It’s not when things come easily that we appreciate them, but when we have to work hard for them or when they are hard to get that those things have greater value to us._

…it’s the struggle it takes to make it work that helps give that thing its value._

The two non-business related books I worked through were Poor Things by Alasdair Gray and Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. I wanted to read through the book before seeing the film version of Poor Things by director Yorgos Lanthimos. Honestly I'm glad I did considering all the changes they made from the source material. I enjoyed the book and the film was WILD. I'd seen David Fincher's film version of Fight Club years ago like just about everyone else in the western world but never read the original book. I'd read Palahniuk's Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread in late 2021 and it's wild. Looking forward to the next Palahniuk book I get to read.

I've also started reading Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert. Dune: Part Two by director Denis Villeneuve is coming out this March and I'd finished reading the original Dune book before the 2021 movie came out. I've heard the third movie is already in the works, hence me making sure I'm ready for that glorious nonsense.

Polishing those Steaming Piles

So we're nearly halfway through the second module of this fall semester. The amount of MBA classwork this time around hasn't been as thick and I've had more margin for things outside graduate school. This past week had me mixing up new batches of film developing chemistry and processing six rolls of film I'd put through my RB67. I've yet to scan in all that nonsense, but I did find a few images I felt were more than just hot turds.

It's kinda wild to think I'll be wrapping up business school soon enough. I'm on track to finishing up my master's degree in late March and then walking across the stage in Norman for an awfully expensive piece of paper. Seeing as how I've not been drowning in classwork these last few weeks I've had more time to consider what's next (potentially). You'll notice I'm not laying out some grand business plan nor am I moving into consulting or investment banking like some of my freshly minted MBA peers. I honestly did consider jumping to that seemingly greener side of the fence though, especially considering how bad it's been in the film industry this past year.

A few ideas are banging around that I'd like to pursue once I'm done with this educational self-abuse, but they're still cooking. That rubber stamp documentary needs to be cut and there's a bit more content I'd like to include in it. There's already been a decent amount of licensing revenue coming in from some of the footage, so if nothing else that film project has already been financially successful.

What's been incredibly humbling lately is the idea of "It's not what you know, but who you know." It's much easier to be critical of what others are putting out than making your own hot mess or even partnering with others who're much farther along than you give them credit. I feel like I've got ideas and approaches to the kind of creative work I'd like to be doing, but then get butt-hurt seeing those little darlings crumble under the weight of reality. Still, if this is the professional choice I've made for myself and my family, I'd better be prepared to be sitting on one of those inflatable donuts more often than not.

Ideally, the goal would be to continue following some of those shiny things that keep my attention and share them with others in a meaningful – and profitable – way. Right now that looks like developing new projects, partnering with others and their existing assets, and using what I've learned to improve the financial health of those who are better at the art kid side of this creative work.

Strikes, Skaters, and Street Photogs

This starts week six of the fall semester's first class module. It's early still on Monday morning as I'm writing this and I should already be starting on classwork for the week, but here I am trying to force some kind of graduate student, family- and work-life balance. Honestly, I should be pushing for more of a focus on my work considering how little attention it's been getting since starting my MBA. With that in mind, here are a few hot takes from recently.

Huge news came out last night about a tentative deal being reached concerning the WGA strike. The New York Times reports that the screenwriters guild reached a deal with studios and that they got most of what they wanted.

“We can say, with great pride, that this deal is exceptional — with meaningful gains and protections for writers in every sector of the membership,” the Writers Guild’s negotiating committee said in an email to members.

Conspicuously not doing a victory lap was the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, which bargains on behalf of studios. “The W.G.A. and A.M.P.T.P. have reached a tentative agreement” was its only comment. - nytimes.com

While this is great news, the industry is still being impacted by the SAG-AFTRA strike and there's not much happening on that front.

On a personal level, I can't point specifically to how these strikes have hit me directly, but by simply being in the industry I know they have. Friends of mine are on those picket lines in New York and Los Angeles, and the impact on the crew that haven't been working during this time has been rough. I had a phone call a couple weeks ago with the CPA we still work with in New York and he mentioned how this has been a terrible, terrible year for his clients in the entertainment and production industry – me and my family included.

Tying this nonsense back to my MBA work, I'm six weeks deep into a Negotiations course. We've yet to discuss these entertainment industry strikes, but I'm hoping our professor at least mentions it in tonight's class. My other class this module has focused on Marketing Management. That class in particular has been busting my chops about how little attention I've been giving to the customer-facing aspects of my own small business efforts. So with that in mind...

A couple weeks ago I snuck off to the Skate the Plaza event here in Oklahoma City. I'll mention upfront how it's obviously low-hanging fruit to snag photos at events like this. There were tons of people there and probably as many photogs as skaters all hoping to do something interesting and impress the right people. Still, super stoked about the few images I did make in the process. Again, I've been insanely focused on grad school knowing it'll help me on the business end of my creative work, but in doing so I've unfortunately neglected the actual creative work itself. At this point, I'm just happy to get some time in behind a camera.

The last hot take for this post is a documentary series on street photographers released this week, Wrong Side of the Lens. I actually reached out to the series creator, Josh Ethan Johnson, almost immediately after just seeing the trailer. Later that night St. Anne the Wife and I watched nearly the entire series and realized just how much bigger of a deal it is than I first expected.

Super excited to see a project like this, especially in how it was released on YouTube instead of one of the major streaming platforms considering how good it is. It's got my mashup of creative passions, fierce independence, and business school superpowers going nuts and hopeful for the future.

 

Updated: Jan. 31, 2024
Bit of an update on Wrong Side of the Lens. I've had a chance to connect with Josh Ethan Johnson on his project several times over the last few months and he seems like a good dude doing some interesting work. He's launched a GoFundMe campaign to raise some production capital for future seasons of the project that I'd certainly love to see. Here's his fundraising video and that GoFundMe link so you can help support the art kids making the work you enjoy.

Talking to Strangers

This past week was the beginning of this year's regular state legislative sessions here in Oklahoma. Monday morning had a sizable crowd of Trans rights demonstrators outside the Capitol building. Then on Tuesday there was another crowd there, this time they were Pro-Life demonstrators listening to a speaker under a banner that read "LAWS TO MURDER BABIES ARE MADE HERE." The crowd had dissipated before I could get back out there with my camera, but I did make it inside the building for the Homeschool Oklahoma Capitol Day 2023.

Talk about whiplash between the two days worth of demonstrations. That and the differences in the weather that helped make for two completely different looks. I'm always interested in people and the things they're passionate about, but honestly I should've been home working and/or studying those two days. Instead I was down the street at the Capitol building with my old camera, more expired film, and just talking to strangers.

At the Trans rights rally on Monday, I finished out a black and white roll of Ilford HP5 that I've still got to develop, but then I switched over to a roll of Kodak Vericolor III that'd expired in 1998. I'm especially proud of a handful of those images as well as getting to meet and interact with some of the peaceful demonstrators who some conservatives are calling a "mob" that had "stormed and occupied" the Capitol.

"The protesters gathered to oppose a group of bills that target gender-affirming medical care. Some of the bills would completely bar minors from receiving transition-related care, including one that would prohibit such care for people up to 26 years old. Other bills would bar providers of gender-affirming care from receiving public funds." - "Peaceful protest or a trans 'mob'? Oklahoma demonstration riles the right" – NBC News

Tuesday's weather wasn't helpful, especially because I'd loaded a roll of ISO 160 Kodak Vericolor that'd expired in 1987. In compensating for how old the film was, I'd need to plan for a loss of one stop of light per decade, so that ISO 160 film would need to be exposed at ISO 20 and I'd still be shooting nearly wide open on my camera lens (f3.8). Even then I decided I'd need to push the film two additional stops in the developing process. Honestly I'm surprised I got anything out of this roll of film that was nearly as old as I am.

Out of the ten shots I'd made on that old roll Tuesday, the only two worth looking at were a couple portraits I'd made with a man named Steven Hess. I'd been loitering outside the Capitol building and just hoping someone interesting looking would walk out in the rainy weather. This dude and his fantastic looking beard walked out and he and his family were taking pictures on the south stairs. I waited for them to finish up and then I approached and started a conversation.

"Hey, I really like your beard. I think it looks great. Would you mind if I took your picture?" "Sure."

From there I scrambled to get a light reading using an iPhone app and we made some small talk. He's a bit older than I am, but turns out we had both gone to the same high school. More than that, we'd both taken photography classes there, so we most likely had used the same darkroom way back in the day. He asked if I'd send him a copy of the photos if they turned out and he gave me his number. We ended up texting back and forth for nearly an hour that night after I'd developed the film and sent him the files.

I got to have similar quick conversations on Monday with a few of the Trans rights demonstrators. I'd posted some of the images I'd made that day to Instagram and was able to share and connect with a few of the people I'd met at the rally.

I've for sure made pictures over the years of strangers out in public with long lenses and without permission, but it's something else entirely to walk up to someone you don't know and ask them to be vulnerable with you for just a moment.

Freakin' Old Film

I'm currently spending my weekend getting stomped by my Managerial Accounting class this semester. My Investments class is coming along, but surely you're not here to listen to me whine about the maths. Instead I'll just post some of the images I made in the last few weeks using crazily expired film.

My parents are estate sale raiders and they'd come across a house of an old film photographer a few months ago. They said I should come check it out and I 'bout lost my mind when I saw a shoe box of old film that'd all expired back in the late '90s and early 2000s.

I wasn't keeping up with prices at the time, but right now a 5-pack of medium format Kodak Portra 400 retails for $65.95. The estate sale guy standing guard in the old photog's room surely saw me freakin' out about the film, but still quoted me $40 for all five boxes. I'd had a birthday a few days earlier, so crazy thanks to my parents for buying me the film as a gift for being another year older.

There's plenty on the internets about how to shoot expired film. From what I'd seen and read, you're supposed to overexpose by one stop for each decade past the expiration date. This nonsense was about 25-30 years expired, so I overexposed by about two stops. Shooting handheld with a shutter speed below 125 is just asking for trouble, so by this point I was already nearly wide-open with my lens. With the faster Portra 400 I was exposing at ISO 100 but ended up around ISO 40 with some of the slower film and still around a f3.8. Don't look too close 'cause you'll see plenty of blown focus from my shots of the MLK Jr. Parade.

Turns out the developing process isn't any different – or maybe it is and I stumped Google. I do my own developing at home and only had one roll that didn't make it. Apparently the plastic used was either thinner back then or somehow becomes much more brittle over the years. That one doomed roll ended up ripping as I was loading it onto a reel, so freakin' sad day for those life-changing images never making it to this side of the process.

The day I learn to breathe underwater will come sooner than me ever learning to properly color grade an image. There's no telling how this film had been stored all these years and the image colors are all over the place. I knew it'd be a crapshoot, so in processing I intentionally didn't try and correct the colors. I'm still using my Epson V600 and SilverFast9 to scan in my film and surely one day I'll drop the $100 on Negative Lab Pro, but not today you temptress.

But still, I'm out here getting to make some images in my downtime and not paying the Kodaks of the world an arm and a leg for a roll of film.

The Opposite of a Cakewalk

Well, it's been a bit again – and that's totally fine by the way. The last few weeks have been a freakin' whirlwind.

I finished out the first module of my MBA with an A in both my Financial Accounting and Quantitative Analysis classes. Let me rephrase that: I earned those two As considering I was studying 30-40 hours a week in addition to my work and family responsibilities. The graduate work I'd done back in 2005-06 was an absolute cakewalk compared to what I went through these last eight weeks. We've already started our second module for the semester, and I'm taking classes in Financial Management and Leadership. Soon enough I'll start sharing what I'm learning in those classes, but considering how little time I have at the moment, I'll just leave you with a couple quotes I've already read for my leadership class:

"The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook." - William James

"When you say everything is a high priority, then nothing is a high priority. It really indicates that you're unwilling or unable to make a decision, which means you won't get anything done." - John Maxwell

During the tail end of finals week I was over in Amsterdam meeting with and interviewing the incredibly kind people behind Royal Posthumus. I'd mentioned it in an earlier post, but their story plays a large roll in my rubber stamp documentary. I'd been wanting to connect with them in person for what feels like forever at this point and I'm stoked it finally happened. I'll save the storyline details for the film, but I'm actually hoping to share some of the logistical experiences I went through in making that nonsense happen and what I learned.

While I've travelled alone internationally before, I've always met up with American crews on site and had producers and directors who were the "adults in the room." I'd not had to hire out and pay foreign crew in local currencies, deal with the whole Carnet thing, plus a notebook full of other things. Beyond that, there's the whole thing of me being up way too late studying and taking one of my MBA finals in a European hotel room and having to figure out how to keep my computer charged using my rental car's USB-c port because I'd accidentally left my charger at home.

There's also those other shoots I could talk about since my last post – Life.Church and Habitat for Humanity shoots here in Oklahoma City and that last minute job out in Kansas City, MO – but you'll just have to trust me and a few iPhone photos without context to prove I've been working my tail off lately.

Curb Stomp'd (but diggin' it...for the most part)

You wanna talk about depreciation schedules or amortization? Maybe basket purchases, asset turnover ratios, and how to dispose of those assets at the end of their service life? We could also get into Student's t-distributions and linear regression models if you're interested.

Literally no clue why any of you are still here (hi mom).

The last couple months my world has basically been a tossed salad of math, spreadsheets, reading assignments, and a couple stale croutons of creative work. There's also a side of Cub Scouts with Housefire No.2, and for dessert, an upcoming trip to Amsterdam for my rubber stamp documentary.

There's also our household getting absolutely wrecked earlier this month when we had to put down Clara the Dog. St. Anne the Wife and I got her in 2010 for our first wedding anniversary and over the last 12 years that English Bulldog was no question a member of our family. We knew Clara was getting towards the sunset of life, but her last few weeks went south quickly. We're incredibly lucky to have had such a great companion all these years and I'm glad we had the time with her that we did.

Regarding my school work, I'm freakin' floored with what I'm learning. Turns out the accountants and CPAs I've worked with over the years are true heroes and I'm absolutely not cut from that same cloth. There's also those statistical super powers and their potential I'm trying to comprehend that've basically made my head explode – in addition to literal headaches. One of our in-class examples last week worked through the actual correlation between political campaign results and the relationship to campaign spending. Freakin' fascinating.

Is this intentional mental torture getting me more creative work? No, not by a long shot. Is it making me think differently about how I approach what I do from a business standpoint? Unquestionably, and that's why I'm here.

We're more than half-way through our first eight week module and I'm stoked about my grades being as high as they are. On average, I've been spending nearly 40 hours a week studying and most the time I feel like I'm barely hanging on. Seeing as how flexible my freelance schedule typically is, I can't imagine how my cohorts are dealing with this nonsense in addition to the demands of a full-time job, let alone a family or personal life. I've got a shoot this week that'll have me missing one of my classes, and then mid-Oct I'll be seven time zones away during my finals week. I guess I'll let you know how that goes.

Speaking of seven time zones away, I'm off to Amsterdam to meet with some of the people behind Royal Posthumus. They're a company I'd learned about that played a major role in rubber stamp art as well as usse stamps to fight the Nazis during World War Two. I've been wanting to head over to do these interviews for what feels like forever at this point.

There's a bit of time during the week when I'm not getting curb stomped by my own choices and responsibilities. That's when both Housefires are bed and Anne and I have time to chill out and watch the internet. Chef's Table: Pizza is basically crack to me as a filmmaker who's interested in people and food. Atlanta, well, thank goodness for something interesting and original. And for something incredibly heavy but necessary, Anne and I started watching The U.S. and the Holocaust from documentary filmmakers Ken Burns, Lynn Novick, and Sarah Botstein (and a ton of others). It premiered last weekend and I'm sure it'll take us awhile to make it through the six-plus hour film, but good grief this should be required viewing for all Americans.

Anne and I started watching The U.S. and the Holocaust from documentary filmmakers Ken Burns, Lynn Novick, and Sarah Botstein (and a ton of others). It premiered last weekend and I'm sure it'll take us awhile to make it through the six-plus hour film, but good grief this should be required viewing for all Americans.

"The Patriarchy Smells like Hot Dog Water"

Woof. So last Friday and women's rights in the U.S. huh? Growing up I'd never planned on becoming an active protester, but here we are. I'd also never imagined I'd be on this side of the fence considering my evangelical Christian upbringing, but again, here we are. Quoting one of the protest signs I saw yesterday at the Oklahoma state capitol building, "The Patriarchy Smells like Hot Dog Water."

Phones across the country melted just a bit more than normal as social media caught on fire following Friday's news of the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. There's plenty of extremely qualified and insightful writing out there on what's happening, so I'll let them handle the facts. The best I can do is let you in on what brings this nonsense home to me.

Before this weekend, I'd assumed I knew women in my life that've had first hand experience with abortion, but more than I expected came forward with their own stories. Friends of mine posted about their abortions and how they chose to end their pregnancies due to medical as well as personal reasons that certainly aren't any of my business.

My Christian faith is still important to me, but I know that our country is filled with people and faiths different than mine. As people of faith, why should we expect others to respect our beliefs when we don't respect theirs? I'd found it incredibly helpful seeing a social media post from U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez about "beliefs are not facts."

"...beliefs are not facts. The belief that abortion is murder is a subjective one. Banning abortion violates the religious views of many. Judaism, Islam, and many other faiths and philosophies have widely ranging, different takes on the matter. Judaism, for example, not only condones abortion but insists upon it in for cases where a mother's life is at risk... So banning abortion raises real first amendment violation questions."

What's happening in right now is wrong. I'm struggling to express how I feel, but I'm upset. I'm frustrated. I'm angry and I'm sad.

“What’s happened is not about religion, or morality or unborn babies. It’s about politics.” - Cecile Richards, former president of Planned Parenthood (How Did Roe Fall?, New York Times)

There's been protests across the country since Friday. Oklahoma is frighteningly conservative, but there was a solid showing of protesters on the north lawn of the state capitol Sunday afternoon. I'd come to not expect much from Oklahoma City protests, but yesterday made me proud. I've not seen official numbers, but I'd heard someone estimate nearly 1,000 people showed up.

Anne and I took the boys to the event because we think it's important they see their parents as active and visible participants in standing up for what they believe. I remember going out with my mom when I was young during the Oklahoma teacher strikes back in 1990. Tiny Tanner was more stoked about being out of school for a few days and had no idea what those frustrated teachers where actually doing, but I remember it. Protesting doesn't seem practical, but the further into it I've gotten over the years the more I believe in it and see the strength of its long game. Knowing I'm not the only one frustrated with what's going on brings me hope. Showing up and being visible is important.