Yeesh... I went all out last week and puked my soul onto this digital sidewalk. I'm still coming up with all kinds of things I'll miss once we leave the city: Park Slope Halloweens; subway rides to the beach; all the coffee shops. I'll not get into the hot mess of me crying no less than three times today during my last weekly trip to the Park Slope Whole Foods.
This week has me less wrecked as – again – I aired most of that nonsense out last week. We're still packing up our lives and saying awkward "goodbyes" in a time of no hugs and social distancing. In a few days we'll be uprooting again to head back to Oklahoma.
I'm still glad the high school me decided to get into the habit of keeping a journal. Before last week's emotional dump I was able to look back on my first New York experiences and found a couple notebooks that were over 20 years old. I'm glad too that some of that near daily pen and paper habit has spilled into the digital these last couple years in blog form. It started out partly in a vain attempt to "position myself as an expert" but that nonsense fizzled out fast ('cause we all know the truth). Thankfully it's turned more into a public facing digital journal of where I was at that time each post went live.
These last couple days had me going back through some of those posts from our time as New Yorkers and gorging on the associated serotonin and dopamine floods. Here's a few of the faves (in no particular order):
One Year Later
"Happy Xmas" - Vevo & Contrast Films
Other People > You
Midwinter Break - Cape May, NJ
Fixing my train wreck in post
Vevo Lift Live Sessions: YUNGBLUD & Kiana Ledé
Intentional Time Off
Slowly but surely I'm climbing up from the muck and seeking out the silver lining in this nonsense. I've already got flickers of optimism not far from this transition and I'm hopeful for this next season. Obviously leaving New York for the reasons we are was never the plan, but it's doing me no good just sitting in the dark and having decisions made for me.